6 months later
At ministry’s meeting in church
“You must put more ummmph into our ministry. Because many people will be looking at us. We want to do our best for God!” said the ministry leader firmly.
(What if my best is below your expectation?) thinking by myself.
“Come on Danny, you can do better”, ministry leader encourages.
“Hey, I don’t think you’re doing your best, man”, quipped Mika.
At work the next day
“The customers complained! And it probably was the mess we had with the proposal I asked you to prepare the other day. What have you got to say about this?”, asked the manager.
I tilt my eyes slightly signaling that I do not know.
“And there’s more, I heard that you’re doing part-time… which I think you should not be involved in other work that distracts you from doing your job competently.”
“I demand you to give me a good explanation by tomorrow!” said the manager.
(I wish I’m in a time-capsule and the world will fast-forward itself) me thinking.
(It was a bad day, a really bad day.)
At home after work
“Dear heavenly Father, please teach me what to do? What can I do to change this predicament? What did I do that went wrong? Why do such things always happens to me? Please help. Thank you father in Jesus’ name I pray, Amen”, I prayed earnestly.
At work the following day
“Sir, I hereby resigned from my position as the Assistant Manager”, firmly handling the letter over.
“Ok, I think that’ll do. I wish you all the best in your future endeavours”, the manager shaking my hand without looking into my eyes.
“Hey friend, why leave so suddenly?”, asked Mika.
I just shrugged my shoulder and raised my eyebrows slightly.
(Just pack my things and leave this horrid and shameful place quickly) me thinking.
At ministry meeting in church
(Just arrive.)
“Ahh Danny. Let us pray for Danny, for he had a bad day today”, said the ministry leader.
(I’m surprised people here knows what happens so fast, or I should not even be surprised anyway seeing who is here.)
Right after the ministry meeting
“Danny, I notice that there’s something holding you back in your service. Is it because of your work pressure or is there any other things you want to share?”, asked the ministry leader.
“Yeah, anything to share?”, asked Mika ostentatiously.
I smiled and shake my head, “Nope.””But I think I’ll pullout from this ministry for the time being, there’s just something going on currently.”
“You sure you don’t want to share about it?”, asked ministry leader.
“Yup, positive.”, I said and leave another place that knows my shame. (I got an epiphany that somebody has been definitely saying something to both sides that causes me this predicament.)
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(Why do these things happen to me? Why it doesn’t happen to most people that I know? How can a fellow Christian betray my trust after I opened up myself? Do I give up easily? Why do I feel people are looking at me differently? Why do I feel different? Is it because I don’t act like them, I don’t talk like them, means that I don’t fit in? Then…
I’m an outcast and forever will be one….. ….. ….. or will I?… … …
I REFUSE TO GIVE UP! Can I look past this betrayal and hate the act but love the person? Can I change? Or should I change? What’s so different or bad about me? Only time will tell for there’s a time for everything.)
“Dear heavenly Father, I pray that you show me my path in life because in Proverbs 3:5-6 says, trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your path straight. Thank you Father for your word, in Jesus’ name I pray, Amen!”
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